In our interview, Andrea Kelly of the reality show “Hollywood Exes,” a mother of three and the ex-wife of R&B singer/producer R. Kelly, put it this way: “As mothers, we have nothing to give our children if our tank is on ‘E’. We are giving fumes to our family. Take time to fill your cup. You can’t give something that you don’t have … if you’re not a whole woman; you’re not a whole mother. At some point, you have to be self-centered for a minute so that you have more of you to give. Because if you break down, the whole ship is going down.”

When the balance of your life is thrown off, it takes time to set it back on track. You lose unnecessary time and energy, and the older you get, the harder it is to bounce back. So, if you’ve failed to restore yourself with balance, rest and time off before, it’s going to be that much harder to recover once your body has shut down.

Fill Her Up

Most women hate going to the gas station. For various reasons, we don’t want to stop and “fill ‘er up.” However, when your car, your body, your mind, your spirit and your energy are on ‘E,’ you need to refuel so that you can get to your desired destination.

There’s not much that feels better than a good night’s sleep. Doctors have shared that when people aren’t sleeping as well during the night, they aren’t as productive during the day, and they’re not as healthy. Did you know that with proper sleep, your brain can reorganize and restructure, which may result in more creativity? So as you can see, all of that exhausting yourself is actually counterproductive. Get some rest, and then come back and get it done at your maximum capacity.

Let this also serve as a lesson or a reminder: If you have a big decision to make and you’re tired, wait. When your mind is too fuzzy, you may decide something that you’ll regret later. As they say, sleep on it. In the morning, things will look different. R.I.P. is more about a quality and healthy life than it is death.

Deya Directive: Today, give yourself permission to get what you need, especially sleep. Your life is worth living, which is why you need to figure out the things that refresh you and do them as much as possible. Is it a massage, working out regularly, taking a long, hot bath or shower? Whatever it is, go for it to help you relax.

Deya “Direct” Smith, is a producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and host of Girlfriend FM & Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews. She is also the author of Touch Yourself, 30 Ways to Live, Love and Let Go (! Deya is a life-style and inspirational speaker.

Rest in Peace  was originally published on

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