A mom writes a touching letter to Essence.com explaining the wonderful feeling of motherhood, and with the help of her Facebook friends, came up with 14 things mothers should share with their daughters.
1. Her family history and the struggles and stories of the people who came before either one of them.
2. Her flaws and her heartbreaks, as hurtful as they might be, because perfection isn’t realistic but disappointments are. They, however, aren’t the end of the world unless you let them be.
3. Pride in being who she is, from her quirks and craziness to her most laudable qualities, and the lesson to never overinvest in her beauty without equally investing in her intelligence
4. How to understand her worth. Power and self-confidence ebb and flow — sometimes up, sometimes down — but a person’s worth doesn’t budge.
5. Respect for God, for herself, for nature and for her elders.
6. How to make choices and be prepared for the consequences, whatever they are, without blaming other people or beating up too badly on herself if things don’t go as planned.
7. The importance of taking care of herself — physically with checkups and prevention, yes, but also with a holistic approach to her self-care: mental, spiritual and emotional
8. How to forgive herself and other people, because the burden of resentment and unchecked anger will make her miserable and unpleasant.
9. The dreams that she didn’t realize. Not everything we aspire to is going to come to pass and there is mourning for those losses, just like anything else. But learning how to regroup and move on is essential.
10. How to save money, handle credit, pay bills on time and appreciate everything you have, even if it’s not always enough
11. The fact that morals and manners may not be flashy or sexy, but they are the dividing factor between people with home training and people other folks can’t wait to leave.
12. How to be prepared for the –isms: racism, sexism, classism. Because at least one of them is always going to be a factor, in some way or another
13. The qualities to look for in a man worth marrying, and the difference between a boo thang and a husband.
14. The importance of family and friends that are like family, because you’re only going to have a limited number of people who are down for you no matter what.