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2017 American Black Film Festival

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In stating this, I almost feel like I am standing up in front of an AA meeting or behind a closed curtain of a confessional. Merely expressing any type of pardon for Lawrence, Issa’s scorned ex-turned-f**kboi on Insecure, comes with its own backlash, so let me also say this: I am also an apologist for Tasha, who gets a false bad rap for being a homewrecker. I stan for both, to a certain degree.

And when I say “to a certain degree,” I’m really talking about the fact that Lawrence (Jay Ellis) had essentially been mooching off then girlfriend Issa (Issa Rae) for four whole years until he decided to join the workforce. That’s unacceptable (though Issa herself admits that she never mentioned this was a problem until their relationship was already on the rocks). Lawrence has been taking a lot of heat this season, after dumping Issa and engaging in what first appeared to be a consensual hookup situation with Tasha (Dominique Perry). He’s also come under fire for “leading Tasha on” and allowing her to believe that they were progressing toward a more serious relationship. Allow me to dismantle both these accusations.

First of all, assumptions are the fault of those doing the assuming, so if Tasha thought that she was in a situation that was about to become more serious and never thought to have an actual conversation about it, then that’s really on her. Meanwhile, Lawrence is out here enjoying his freshly single life and new sexcapades like it ain’t no thang. Maybe going to your jumpoff’s family barbecue was a rookie mistake on Lawrence’s part, but anyone who’s been in a similar situation knows from experience that you should never think that just because a dude is willing to do boyfriend things that he is then your boyfriend.

Of course this isn’t to invalidate Tasha’s feelings. I’m sure many of us can relate to what she’s going through and it doesn’t make it any less hurtful. As she said, Lawrence is a good guy doing f**ked up things—foolishly and carelessly. But he’s also reeling over his failed relationship with Issa, for whom he still has feelings but likely felt obligated to dump her on principle. This was made apparent in the season 2 premiere episode when Lawrence and Issa hooked up after she lured him into stopping by to pick up his mail. He couldn’t stand being in the same room with her for more than 5 minutes before he had his hands all over her and was peeling off her clothes. He had no qualms with telling Tasha about the backslide. But it seemed more like a heads up than a confession. There were no feelings of remorse; it was merely a statement of where he’s at right now, which she should have taken more seriously. What does she do instead? Invite him to her family’s barbecue. Oh Tasha, Lawrence doesn’t want any part in what you’re attempting to do. His ex-girlfriend cheated on him. She betrayed him. He’s hurt, and doesn’t want to put himself in a position to get hurt again so soon. He’s updateable right now, so quit trying to date him.

I can only hope that Tasha’s Come-to-Jesus moment on the third episode this season, when she finally told Lawrence about himself after he ditched her family barbecue, means that she will back off Lawrence and let him be the master of his f**kboi domain as he so desires. Because no good woman has any time for that.


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I Am An Apologist For Lawrence From ‘Insecure’  was originally published on