Once upon a rhyme, every rhyme had passion…direction…meaning….now a days if one line makes sense in a verse you’re in awe.  So I say we take it back all weekend!!  We’re kicking it back to when every rhyme had a reason!  So listen to hear your favorite throw back hip-hop and guess some true school hip-hop lyrics to win tickets to check out Public Enemy, live at the Hat Factory, September 10th.  So this labor day weekend while you’re grilling and trying to dodge Earl we’ll keep your backyard BBQ jumping as we bring summer to a close on this “Rhyme & Reason” Weekend on 99.3 and 105.7 KISS FM!

We all know breakups are hard to deal with, you’ve invested a lot of time and energy and you just can’t see yourself getting past the hurt. One of the things you MUST do is to stop all forms of communication. If you’re at that point where you’re ready to move on, here are some tips from blackvoices.com to get you over that hump.

1. Baby, I’m Begging

The whole “he broke up with me out of the blue” speech is pure BS. Whether you noticed or not, chances are your ex saw the demise of your relationship well before you did. Therefore, groveling before him won’t change his mind. Despite what you think, desperation is never hot. Wipe the tears and snot off your face and walk away with some dignity!

2. LOL

Just because you can call, text, BBM, IM and e-mail anyone at anytime these days doesn’t mean you’ve got the green light to do all of the above to your ex. Texting him to say “I was just thinking of you” is no longer romantic or sweet, it’s annoying –and stalker-esque. Do yourself a solid and avoid using your phone or computer when thoughts of your ex start bubbling over — sober or drunk.

READ THE REST HERE

5 Lies We Tell Men That We Think They Want To Hear

“We’ve Been Together For Nine Months, But He’s Hardly Around!”

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Women are always complaining about how their man refuses to open up to them and show his emotions. There are hundreds of articles given advice to women about how to make your man feel comfortable with sharing with you and so on. There is little help for the brotha who has found the woman of his dreams and she refuses to open up to him emotionally. He does everything he can to show her that he loves her and that he is trustworthy but she refuses to be open. Here are a few reasons why this woman is unwilling or even unable to be express her emotions

1. She hasn’t made her mind up about you yet
Most women have a defense mechanism up in the early stages of dating. If you have been dating a woman for considerable time period and you see that she insists on keeping those same walls up it might be because she has not yet decided how she feels about you. She may still be mulling over whether she is prepared to get serious with you. She may be deciding whether or not you fit the description of someone that she wants to deal with romantically.

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2. She has been hurt before, and before that..
If she has a brick wall up between you and her then chances are it is because she has been hurt by other men in the past. I say men because most women’s hearts do not automatically become cold after one incident with a bad boyfriend. It usually takes more than one negative experience before she hardens.

3. She may have deeper issues than you know
If you have been with your woman for an extended amount of time and still sense that she has barricades around herself then there may be deeper issues. Issues that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Perhaps she was abused by a male figure in her life whom she trusted, or has Daddy issues etc.. There is a huge chance that her issues have nothing to do with you or your relationship but more so with whatever is going on in her head and her heart that she has not dealt with.

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4. It may not be in her nature
It is stereotyped that all women are emotional creatures that enjoy sitting and discussing their feelings and thoughts. Wrong. Not every woman is going to be like that naturally. Some women may be more distant. This could be because of the way she was raised, or it could just be her personality. It could have nothing to do with you. She probably behaved the same way in every relationship she has ever been in.

5. She generally does not trust men.
Some women are taught from birth by other women in their lives not to trust men. Their mothers and aunts and sisters were treated badly by men or experienced some form of abuse and they teach their daughters, to protect themselves. To always be strong and to never trust men because it will only lead to hurt and pain. This also applies to women who have no outline for a healthy relationship. Women who have never seen another woman involved in a healthy relationship with a man. They may not feel that it is possible and assume that at some point the man they love will flick a switch internally in him and abandon her.

For More LJ Knight Visit YeahSheSaidIt

If you’re a man, I’m sure you’ve thought about how complex women are. How they simply can’t be figured out. How they do the most bizarre things, for unknown reasons. (If you’re a woman, it’s likely you agree.) If you have, then you will find this next statement confusing and perplexing. Women are not as complicated as you think they are. They’re actually rather simple.

Before you brush me off as a lunatic, hear me out. The primary reason that men and women don’t understand one another is because they don’t take the time to truly try. Within that context, we have to understand that men’s and women’s brains simply process information differently. The exact same even could happen to a man and to a woman and you would likely have two entirely different responses. As such, we have to work to understand where the opposite sex is coming from.

In the next several posts (because this topic is simply too long for only one post), I’m specifically addressing the men out there who are in relationships — spouses, boyfriends, fiancees, etc. If you’re single and reading this, my hope is that you’d take note for the future. My goal here is to better help the men understand the women in their lives so they may more effectively care for them, love them, and grow into a deeper relationship with each other.

Before I start, let me give you a quick disclaimer: I will generalize most women in the following paragraphs. Yes, I understand that not all women want these things out of relationships, but it is more worthwhile to inform the gentlemen about the majority of women than the few for whom these things are not true. I’m not an expert with formal training of any sort — I’m simply an observer, and a learner. The following is what I have gleaned from my experiences and those of others, combined with the wisdom of professionals. (Once I finish this series, I will give you a few resources that will further your learning.)

Men, there are a few basic things that women want, and need, from their relationships with you, as their significant other. Without further ado, here is the first of three things women want:

She wants her feelings to be heard and understood, not solved.

Men, I understand that we naturally like to solve problems. It’s what we do. When your woman tells you about  a problem at work, or a problem with her mother, you instantly begin creating solutions, don’t you? (I know you do because I do it too.) Well, stop. Or at least stop telling her what those solutions are unless she asks you to. She doesn’t really care about them. What means more is that you listened to her and understand how she’s feeling, not that you’ve fixed the problem.

You may be asking yourself, “Why does she tell me all this stuff if she doesn’t want me to solve anything? This is a waste of my time.” It’s simple — she wants you to understand her feelings. Her sharing and your understanding brings you together on an emotional level (which is most important to her). She wants to tell you because she cares about you.

Don’t get it twisted — our logical, problem solving skills can still be utilized. In fact, she enjoys seeing you solve puzzles and problems; they just have to be on issues that don’t involve her emotions. Like the car making a weird sound. If she tells you, “Baby, my car made some kind of strange rattling sound today as I was driving home from work,” don’t ask her how that made her feel. Just get the problem fixed. If the problem is emotional, you listen; if it’s not, get it fixed.

If you’ve ever talked to your woman at the end of the day (or, heck, at any point in any day), you know that she’s got a lot to say (if she doesn’t, that’s a bad sign). It’s likely that a good portion of what she has to say concerns her emotions and how she was feelings while said events are going on. Of course, if you asked us, we’d give a one word answer that would frustrate her. But no, she’s different — she always has a lot to say. And while it might seem that most of what she has to say isn’t important to you, but it is very important to her. That’s why she’s sharing it with you — because she finds it important. She simply wants you to understand her problems; her perspective. With that said, it’s important that you listen.

Let her talk about anything and everything she desires (that includes you) and — here’s the key — listen to her. Focus on her. Make eye contact with her. Make her feel like she is the most important thing in your world at that moment. Turn off all the other distractions and pay attention. You can’t pay attention to her while you’re watching TV or texting someone on your phone. I don’t care if you think you can, she doesn’t see it that way. she wants you to devote and focus your attention on her for these few minutes.

(If, for some reason, you can’t give her that undivided attention at that moment, but, she wants to talk, it’s a good idea to say something like, “Baby, I understand you’re upset and I do want to listen to you, but I need about five minutes. Then, I’m all ears, ok?” Telling her that shows that you are interested in what she has to say, while also showing her that she’s important enough to give her your undivided attention).

[Written by Stuart McDonald for Elev8.com. For more from Stuart, check out his personal blog, follow him on Twitter, and connect with him on Facebook.]

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There are several miscommunications and misunderstandings that occur between men and women daily. Some are avoidable and some are never ending. Check out the 5 most common misconceptions men have about women.

1. As much as he may try to empathize, he knows nothing about how you feel when you are on your period. For obvious reasons he never will. The most he can do is try to make you as comfortable as possible. For the ladies who have a man who at least is willing to TRY, appreciate him for that because some guys don’t.

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2. Why your girlfriends can call you bitch but he can’t. Sometimes women use the word “bitch” in a jokingly fashion among their female friends. However, if your man dare calls you that then there will be repercussions. Some men feel that if you let your home girls say it then why should you get so upset if he does? Logically this makes sense because both sets of people are using the same word. However, for some women the intention behind it matters more to them.

3. Why we feel the need to be so close to him. We want to know everything about our man. From his favorite foods to his dislikes, to how he is feeling on a day to day basis. Most men do not require that much emotional coddling. However, once a woman falls in love, she wants to be close to her man and get to know him extensively because she find comfort in the intimacy.

4. Why you keep a special eye out on his female friends. It has nothing to do with you not trusting him. It has more to do with you knowing how some women operate. Sometimes they can have a male friend and it can be platonic and then unexpectedly, something happens where they start looking at him “differently”. Most women are always on the look out for this type of reaction. Why shouldn’t she be? Obviously she sees something special in you. Wouldn’t it be safe to say that another woman would as well?

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5. Why you feel the need to talk to that one girlfriend about your issues. There is always at least one friend that every woman opens up to and sometimes discusses the issues she has with her man with. She may not tell her friend EVERYTHING and I would suggest that you do not. However, this friend is her shoulder to cry on when her man is acting like an ass. She is the person that she vents to. Some guys don’t understand the importance of this friend and why their woman talks about him to her. He may also assume that the friend is constantly bad mouthing him and in some cases she might be. For that reason he may feel uncomfortable with your relationship.

For More LJ Knight Visit YeahSheSaidIt
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The truth is that it takes some work to keep relationships healthy. Most people find that the work is well worth the effort when their relationship is still going strong decades after it began.

Here are 4  simple strategies can help couples strengthen their romantic relationships, no matter what obstacles they face together:

1. Maintain the Right Ratio – make sure the positives in the relationship outweigh the negatives by at least a 5:1 ratio.  Therefore focus and speak on the positive more than the negative.

2. Striking a Balance – Each partner in a couple can enjoy time together and time apart from the other. In a healthy romance, you do not expect to get all of your needs met by your partner in some idealized or unrealistic way.

3. Handling Arguments – manage hurt and anger, so it is neither withheld nor vented on your partner. Use awareness of hurt and anger to express more directly and constructively your needs and concerns.

4. Keeping the Romance Real – The other critical component of a healthy relationship is to make physical contact and intimacy a priority. Here again, you have to actively work at this part of your relationship to keep it fresh and vital through the years. And this aspect of the relationship doesn’t always have to be about sex.  Cuddling is cool.

Ultimately, a healthy, long-lasting relationship is a partnership. (Read More)

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Please note: I cannot speak and do not proclaim to speak for every woman.  However, I know quite a few women and  have heard the concerns of many, so I speak on behalf of them as a collective group.  Please hear their voices in this article.

Men we as women need you! Please know that relationships are not about us being right and you being wrong. There not about us being super independent and we not needing you. There not about a woman doing better than a man financially, emotionally or spiritually.  It is not about any of that superficial nonsense. A REAL relationship is about what happens when the two forces known as male and female come together on an equal plane and explore what true love is. What genuine friendship is and what a real partnership looks like. At the end of the day, that is what a relationship is about.

One of the biggest misunderstandings and  major problem in relationships is the independent woman theory. Where women are viewed as not needing a man because they take care of everything for themselves. Yes a woman is independent but we are independent because we have to be, we are single. If we don’t work, pay the bills, shop, etc who will. We are independent out of a necessity.  It comes with the territory. Unlike a marriage where the couple is dependent on each other. Our independence does not mean that we emasculate your manhood. Our independence means that we are not lazy, trifling women, waiting to be rescued. We are women doing what needs to be done. And we are handling our business. Don’t let our independence fool you. Please know that we want you and more importantly, we need you.

According to the world system (media, statistics, individual opinions and public perception) the only reason a woman needs a man is for moving large objects and/or a sexual fix. Let me set the record straight: That is a LIE! That is NOT what we need you for. We need and desire you for so many reasons, some being:

• The companionship you bring
• The authority you possess
• The strength you nurture us with
• Your vulnerability that says you need us
• Your boyish charm.
• Your take charge demeanor
• Your ability to make us feel like we are the only woman on earth
• Your wisdom and the different perspective you bring
• The way you make me a better me because of you.
• The wonderful us that we become when we are together
• Your stern correctness, that helps us get back on the right path when we have strayed
• Your accountability
• Your partnership
• Your friendship
• Your love

Bottom line: WE NEED YOU! And YOU NEED US too! With that being the case, what are we doing?  Some people have let this world system and the foolish lies that there is a 50 to 1 female to male ratio, due to the lack of good men, hoodwink a lot of males and females into acting like fools gone wild.

Dignity, respect, morals and character have fallen by the wayside. And for what? People are doing more now than ever in order to obtain a “false sense of companionship’ or the “semblance of a relationship.” And where has it gotten them, no where. There are more lonely miserable dissatisfied, angry, bitter people than ever before. All because of the deception of false hype- don’t believe the lie. There are a lot of GREAT men and women desiring and looking for love. And real love is attainable. However, some things need to be put in order.

Attention Men and women: Can the relationship games, manipulation, drama, confusion and lying PLEASE  come to an end? Aren’t you tired of that? Don’t you want more?

Starting today, decide to want more from your relationships. Make a conscientious effort to make better choices in choosing your mate. Realize that “your type” might not be right for you. The prettiest, best looking, finest, best dressed, athlete or model may not always be the one for you. Stop choosing based on the surface and start choosing based on your true hearts desire.  Choose the one you need and the one that is right for you.  I guarantee, you will be much happier.

My prayer is that God brings the right person into your life. The one that was meant just for you!

Have a great week.

Much love,

Judi

Written by: Judi Mason for www.elev8.com

Contact Judi: judi@divaink.com

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How do they do it? While we may give a lot of flack to Hollywood’s finest for the comparatively short shelf lives of their romantic relationships, we know that they face trials and tribulations in coupling that the average person does not. Not only does their partnership face constant scrutiny from the prying eyes of the press, but their jobs dictate they will spend a significant amount of time apart on film sets across the country and around the world.

One actress flew 11 hours every Friday to see her husband; another used Skype to talk “face-to-face” to her boyfriend over the computer.

One athlete used texts to communicate with his girlfriend; another couple bought homes in two different countries.

Find out who’s who over at PopEater.

HOW DO YOU HANDLE YOUR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP?

We don’t mind men thinking we’re unfashionable (what do they know) but ‘easy’? That’s another matter.

I guess we have to be careful we don’t give out false messages.

Take a look at the list and see if you agree…SOURCE

1) The ‘Bodycon’ Dress – 57%

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2) Crop Tops- 53%

3) Corset Tops- 51%

4) Lace – 45%

5) ‘Underwear as Outerwear’ – 43%

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6) Pencil Skirts – 38%

7) Knee-High Boots – 32%

Stiletto High Heels – 29%

9) Mini Skirts – 22%

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Click through the gallery to see some celebs wearing these supposed Fashion Dont’s: